Older Men Dating Younger Women
Disclaimer: No, I'm not talking about a 4 or 5 year gap.In Hollywood it's the norm. We see it in the headlines every day: (Insert 50 year old actor's name here) weds (insert 20 year old diva's name here). When it comes to those arrangements we can 'understand' it: wealth, power, movie and magazine connections, etc. It isn't love; it's a business arrangement. He gets to pretend he's still a hot stud and she gets to play princess for (usually) 1 - 3 years until they file irreconcilable differences and she celebrates his lack of foresight when it comes to setting up a prenup. But what is the allure for your every day guy?
I found an interesting article and decided to give my personal take on the writer's 10 reasons why most of these "relationships" won't work:
1. Fantasy love fades. Usually within a year.
Or less. Let's face it, the average guy isn't jumping into marriage like the Hollywood moguls, he's jumping into the sack. Big difference. Because there is no prenup, no children to decide on, no divorce to handle - the disappearing act is easy. "But don't you think it would be the young lady leaving him instead of the other way around?" .....in some situations yes, but I've found through personal experience watching friends and friends of friends that the type of man who actively pursues a 20-something girl ...actively pursues more than one at a time. That's a recipe for disaster, no matter how old you are.
2. [The men] may feel younger, but dating younger women won't make them younger.
We've all seen the 40 year old man show up at the hip club with a 19 year old. He thinks he's a total stud for having her grinding against his khakis - she's pretending not to flirt with the 24 year old frat boy at the bar - and everyone else is doing their best not to laugh. It isn't working, guys. You're the club joke. The only people in awe of your masulinity are the other 40 year olds sitting alone at the bar.
3. Older men and younger women use each other, similar to a business arrangement.
While it's true you don't have to be a Hollywood director or billionaire to attract a young gold digger, there are other ways one can be used. Does she constantly ask to drive your Escalade to the club for her 'girls nights out'? Does she make sure you know how long it is before her next birthday every time she sees a new pair of Jimmy Choos? Think about it. Then again...no matter how many friends hear you brag about her 'amazing intellect' - you're using her for the sex.
4. OK, maybe she's not using him.
Because you always see hot young bikini models with a 45 year old McDonald's manager...right?
5. Different energy levels.
With the creation of Viagra, this isn't an issue - at least not in the bedroom. That doesn't mean you won't get in at least 1 fight a week because she wants to stay until the bar closes and you've got a board meeting at 7 am.
6. Different maturity levels.
This is one of the biggest issues. I don't care how much your 22 year old girlfriend says "I want to be a Doctor", or how many classes she takes (at 2 pm in the afternoon) - the fact remains that she doesn't HAVE to be mature yet. In the grand scheme of things, she's still a kid. Grown men have years of experience that girls half their age just haven't achieved yet - no matter how intelligent they are.
"Bob Russell, a retiree in Phoenix said, "I took a younger woman to a movie. When I mentioned that the actor looked like Humphrey Bogart, she looked at me sweetly and said, 'Who is Humphrey Bogart?' After that, I dated women my own age."
7. Common goals and interests.
Retirement, paying off a mortage, getting lower car insurance, saving gas, getting that promotion at the office, long term commitment ...... none of those things matter to someone who is in their 20's. The quicker you learn that, the more trouble you'll save yourself. If those things don't matter to you either, then I'm sure you're having a great time living with your mother.
8. Lifestyles differ.
Do I really have to put details with this? It's obvious. If it weren't so true, we wouldn't long for our younger years after we hit 35.
9. Stand by your man?
Did the bottom just drop out of the stock market? Mortage going under because they downsized at the office? A girl who lives at home or in a college dorm isn't going to care....much less know how to help. So when your bank account experiences new lows and coincidentally she decides that's when "things just aren't working out anymore".... don't act surprised.
10. Health issues.
Are things going great? Did you some how manage to be the exception to the previous 9 ideas and think you might pop the big question? In 10 years you'll be thinking about retirement and she'll be wanting 3 kids.
From Tom Blake's article:
"There are exceptions, of course, and couples with an age gap can have wonderful relationships. It's how closely they think together that matters.
I found an interesting article and decided to give my personal take on the writer's 10 reasons why most of these "relationships" won't work:
1. Fantasy love fades. Usually within a year.
Or less. Let's face it, the average guy isn't jumping into marriage like the Hollywood moguls, he's jumping into the sack. Big difference. Because there is no prenup, no children to decide on, no divorce to handle - the disappearing act is easy. "But don't you think it would be the young lady leaving him instead of the other way around?" .....in some situations yes, but I've found through personal experience watching friends and friends of friends that the type of man who actively pursues a 20-something girl ...actively pursues more than one at a time. That's a recipe for disaster, no matter how old you are.
2. [The men] may feel younger, but dating younger women won't make them younger.
We've all seen the 40 year old man show up at the hip club with a 19 year old. He thinks he's a total stud for having her grinding against his khakis - she's pretending not to flirt with the 24 year old frat boy at the bar - and everyone else is doing their best not to laugh. It isn't working, guys. You're the club joke. The only people in awe of your masulinity are the other 40 year olds sitting alone at the bar.
3. Older men and younger women use each other, similar to a business arrangement.
While it's true you don't have to be a Hollywood director or billionaire to attract a young gold digger, there are other ways one can be used. Does she constantly ask to drive your Escalade to the club for her 'girls nights out'? Does she make sure you know how long it is before her next birthday every time she sees a new pair of Jimmy Choos? Think about it. Then again...no matter how many friends hear you brag about her 'amazing intellect' - you're using her for the sex.
4. OK, maybe she's not using him.
Because you always see hot young bikini models with a 45 year old McDonald's manager...right?
5. Different energy levels.
With the creation of Viagra, this isn't an issue - at least not in the bedroom. That doesn't mean you won't get in at least 1 fight a week because she wants to stay until the bar closes and you've got a board meeting at 7 am.
6. Different maturity levels.
This is one of the biggest issues. I don't care how much your 22 year old girlfriend says "I want to be a Doctor", or how many classes she takes (at 2 pm in the afternoon) - the fact remains that she doesn't HAVE to be mature yet. In the grand scheme of things, she's still a kid. Grown men have years of experience that girls half their age just haven't achieved yet - no matter how intelligent they are.
"Bob Russell, a retiree in Phoenix said, "I took a younger woman to a movie. When I mentioned that the actor looked like Humphrey Bogart, she looked at me sweetly and said, 'Who is Humphrey Bogart?' After that, I dated women my own age."
7. Common goals and interests.
Retirement, paying off a mortage, getting lower car insurance, saving gas, getting that promotion at the office, long term commitment ...... none of those things matter to someone who is in their 20's. The quicker you learn that, the more trouble you'll save yourself. If those things don't matter to you either, then I'm sure you're having a great time living with your mother.
8. Lifestyles differ.
Do I really have to put details with this? It's obvious. If it weren't so true, we wouldn't long for our younger years after we hit 35.
9. Stand by your man?
Did the bottom just drop out of the stock market? Mortage going under because they downsized at the office? A girl who lives at home or in a college dorm isn't going to care....much less know how to help. So when your bank account experiences new lows and coincidentally she decides that's when "things just aren't working out anymore".... don't act surprised.
10. Health issues.
Are things going great? Did you some how manage to be the exception to the previous 9 ideas and think you might pop the big question? In 10 years you'll be thinking about retirement and she'll be wanting 3 kids.
From Tom Blake's article:
"There are exceptions, of course, and couples with an age gap can have wonderful relationships. It's how closely they think together that matters.
There will always be older men who want to date younger women. Most will discover that those relationships don't last. And a few will come to their senses and seek women closer to their own age who share common goals, interests and energy levels. But they'll have to learn for themselves."
